I hate you all
Adding the "I think" is not the most encouraging, Dr. Saxon. I'll definitely mind it; however, if you do not celebrate the day then why do you reply to these invasive questions? I know Curtis likes the attention, but I cannot imagine it is the same for you. [A]

Oddly enough, the chances that they shut up or switch to a tolerable topic actually go up if I just suck it up and answer.  Ignoring and/or threatening them just makes it worse.

I suppose I'll ask this in the spirit of this... Awful day you two seem to be celebrating. What areas of the house should I avoid in order to escape anything... Left behind after these activities you all keep talking about? [A]

I’m not celebrating.  Other people are celebrating at my expense.  As usual.

Just the bed, I think…

Is Curtis the only person you've had sex with?
Anonymous

Yes.

If you could have Curtis dress up however you wanted him to dress (whether we're talking for sexy Saxxy times or for general wear) what garb would he be wearing?
Anonymous

Haven’t given this much thought, either.  Clothing isn’t my strong suit, no pun intended.

Do you prefer fucking Curtis senseless or getting a blowjob?
Anonymous

Ooh, that’s a tough one.

Probably fucking Curtis senseless.

How often do you masturbate?
Anonymous

Rarely.

What fetish/kink would you like to try?
Anonymous

I haven’t given it much thought, actually.

DO YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS? AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN? THE FEEL OF THE OCEAN? THE TASTE OF CHAMPAGNE? DO YOU LIKE MAKING LOVE AT MIDNIGHT--IN THE DUNES OF THE CAPE? IF SO, YOU'RE THE LOVE THAT I'VE LOOKED FOR. COME WITH ME AND ESCAPE.
Anonymous

THAT SONG IS A FORM OF TORTURE.

Did you know you are the most kawaii desu motherfucker ever?
Anonymous

…BrochachoNacho.  I should’ve known.

And no, I’m not.